Nitin and I are super excited to officially introduce you guys to our darling bambino, Evan Sebastian Nitin Khosla. In the last two weeks my world has changed in the most incredible way possible and I’m excited to finally share my birth story (and struggle) with you guys. Grab a cup of coffee, kick back and join me on this crazy life-changing journey of love and pain.

I am grateful to say that I was blessed with an amazing pregnancy. While the much anticipated nausea hit me in the first trimester it thankfully wasn’t debilitating and was followed by an incredible second and (mostly) third trimester. I was packed full of energy up until a few weeks before I was due; this is when the fatigue and high blood pressure kicked in. 

As most of you probably know from my social media posts, Nitin and I decided to undergo a massive kitchen reno post babymoon. In hindsight it probably wasn’t the best idea to start this project at 5 months pregnant (holy stress!) but I must admit we are loving our new space. As with most renovations things did not run according to plan and what I thought would be a 3 week project ended up taking over 2 months to complete. We spent time at my in-laws during the major construction phase and while it was great to be taken care of it was hard to be away from home for so long. We had unforeseen issues which slowed things down (I’ll save that for my kitchen reveal post) and by mid May my stress level was through the roof. With our first baby on the way I still had to finish (ahem ..start) the nursery, deal with the kitchen delays/ issues and work! This is when my high blood pressure kicked in.

On a routine visit to my OB in May she noticed my blood pressure had sky rocketed. With no previous record of high blood pressure she figured it was just an error and proceeded with the rest of my appointment before checking it again at the end..and again, and again. She calmly advised me that I needed to go immediately to Labour & Delivery at Oakville Trafalgar Memorial Hospital for a stress test and monitoring. I was freaked out. I got into the car with Nitin and burst into tears. Panic set in and I felt utterly helpless. I spend hours in the hospital being monitored and undergoing blood and urine tests. This continued on for the next few weeks of my pregnancy as my blood pressure was higher than normal. My OB finally told me that I needed to stop work immediately and she scheduled an induction date for my delivery.

The day before my induction was scheduled I went and saw my naturopath, Dr. Dina from bNatural Health & Wellness Centre (she’s incredible!) for acupuncture. My sister, who had three natural delivery’s, swears by Dr. Dina’s acupuncture for inducing labour. I was hoping for the same results as my sister; she went into labour less than 24 hours after each of her acupuncture sessions. I never had a birth plan because, well, things never seem to go according to plan. When it came to labour and delivery I didn’t think too much about it until the weeks leading up to the big day. After all, what is the point in stressing about something I had little to no control over. While I didn’t go into labour naturally I do credit some of my speedy delivery to the acupuncture session.

The morning of June 5th Nitin and I went into the hospital for 10:30am to begin the induction process. Gel was inserted into me and within minutes I felt cramping, which is natural. I was monitored for 1 hour (very uncomfortable when you’re in pain) and then told to walk around for 30 minutes. After my 1 hour of monitoring was complete I was dying to get up but my contractions were getting stronger and walking wasn’t exactly enjoyable. Nitin and I went to the main floor of the hospital thinking we could grab a bite to eat but I was in too much discomfort to focus on anything but the pain. I was then told to go home and return in 4 hours, or earlier if my water broke. We went home and I laid in bed breathing through each painful contraction. At around 3:15pm my water broke at home. It’s so hard to know what is actually what when it’s your first time in labour. Did my water really break? Am I having cramps from the gel or actual contractions? What the hell is a contraction supposed to feel like? What does it mean when people keep saying ‘you’ll just know‘? I called my sister to confirm that what was happening was actually my water breaking (seriously, I don’t know what I would do without her) and before we knew it Nitin and I were headed back to the hospital.

Upon arriving back to the hospital I was admitted to a birthing suite where I was checked by the nurses. I remember one of the nurses telling me that my water didn’t actually break and at that point I was beside myself because while this was all new to me, feeling a gush of water pour down my legs seemed like a clean sign of my water breaking. I was in so much pain during this time and begged the nurses for an epidural. They told me that they needed to check my bloodwork first and it would be 30 minutes before the results came back. The contractions and pressure only got stronger and I vividly remember grabbing onto the bedside bar for dear life as I tried to breathe through the pain. The nurse wasn’t able to tell how far dilated I was, and still under the assumption that my water hadn’t broke she didn’t think I was far along. 

What seemed like hours later, the anesthesiologist finally arrived and administered the epidural. The epidural didn’t kick in right away and during this time my OB arrived to the birthing suite. After checking me out all I remember hearing is, “ok, you’re ready to push“. My water had in fact broken at home and I was fully dilated. Only at this point did the epidural kick in. After 9 short minutes of pushing my sweet, darling Evan was born. Everyone in the room, including myself, was stunned at how quickly things had progressed. I was in a state of bliss (and shock) that I had just given birth to my son. It was the most surreal experience of my life and something I will never, ever forget. I was on cloud 9.

That evening our immediate family came to visit us in the hospital. We laughed, we cried, we celebrated this most magical day. Evan spent the night sleeping on me and I spent the night staring at him in awe, still not believing this was real. After 9 months of carrying this precious baby inside of me he is finally here.

The next day I woke up with a bit of a headache which I chalked up to the lack of sleep. As our family and friends arrived to meet Evan I found myself falling in and out of slumber trying to shake off the headache. Mid afternoon the nurse on duty heard me telling Nitin that my head was still hurting. She asked me to recline my bed back and when I did this my headache seemed to go away. When I elevated myself or stood up the headache came back in full force. This is when I found out I was suffering from a post dural puncture headache. Basically, when my epidural was administered it caused a tear in my dura that was leaking cerebrospinal fluid. This causes a pressure headache that feels like the most intense migraine imaginable (x 1,000,000) and the only time my headache would subside is when I was laying flat because the fluid wasn’t rushing to my head. For anyone reading this who is questioning getting an epidural, keep in mind that there is only a 1% chance of a post dural puncture occurring with an epidural and contraction pains are real shit, no joke. If I knew I only had 9 minutes of pushing left before the epidural kicked in I probably would have declined it, but Nitin keepings telling me I was in so much pain that he highly doubts I would do that.

That evening the anesthesiologist came to see me and advised that sometimes these tears can heal within 24 – 48 hours. I was told to take Tylenol and Advil around the clock and to go back to the ER if my headache didn’t get better; at that point a blood patch would be administered. This is where blood is taken from your arm and inserted into your back in the hopes that it will clot the hole/tear that was created from the epidural. This stops the fluid from leaking out and relieves the pressure in the head.

Nitin and I were discharged from the hospital at 10:00pm on June 6th, the day after my delivery. My headache was so intense I could barely get out of the hospital bed to dress Evan. I remember thinking that the walk out of the hospital with your newborn is supposed to be filled with excitement and joy but instead my exit was tainted with the worst headache of my life. I tried to fight through it …after all, we were about to bring Evan home for the first time. As soon as we arrived home I had to rush to my bed to lay down flat as this was the only way for the pain to subside. Not an ideal start to motherhood.

The next 5 days were a struggle. I couldn’t get out of bed to change Evan without feeling the most intense pressure in my head. I had to breastfeed laying on my back. Our newborn photoshoot had to be rescheduled. Going to the bathroom was a struggle because anytime I sat up fluid would rush to my head. I was in pain and I felt helpless. Was this really the start of my motherhood? I wasn’t dealing with soreness from the delivery or fatigue from sleepless nights; I was dealing with a game-changing mega-migraine that prevented me from taking care of my newborn baby. I am so thankful for Nitin and our amazing family for all their help during this time because I could not have made it though those 5 days post-delivery without them. From meals to helping us bathe Evan to coffee runs to their loving company, we are so blessed to have such amazing people in our lives.

By Monday June 10th my headache had not gotten any better so Nitin, Evan and I headed to the ER. After waiting 5 hours and undergoing another load of tests the anesthesiologist booked me in for a blood patch the following morning. I was a bit scared because I knew I ran the risk of another tear but the pain was so bad and debilitating I had to take the chance. The procedure was performed in 25 minutes, and half an hour after it was complete the pressure in my head had subsided greatly. I could finally sit up without feeling like I was going to faint. I could finally feed Evan in an upright position. I could finally push him out of the hospital in his stroller. Seriously, #thelittlethings. 

While the 5 days post-delivery were less than ideal it truly put things into perspective for me. It gave me a better appreciation for the little things like being able to change my baby’s diaper, pour a glass of water or take a shower. Nitin, Evan and I are all doing amazing now and as my nieces & nephew would put it, just living our best life.

I can’t wait to share my journey of motherhood with you guys, and I would love to hear your stories.

xo, Kiki